Author: Laura, CEO of Laurabfitnesscoach, shares her own personal story of how she dealt with the adversity life threw at her and her relationship, turning things around to create a life on her terms, whilst helping others *Modern Mumology and Laura B Fitness Coach have a business partnership*
Something I often ask myself is would I change things if I could?
If I had known back then how life was going to turn out. The ups and downs, the tears, the loneliness, the life changing decisions we would have to make. Would I have done things differently? Would I change things and not go on that second date?
You see 10 years ago I met my partner Leigh. We met on line and spent months chatting that way before I plucked up the courage to actually go on that first date with him. It was strange meeting face to face, in so many ways it felt like we had known each other for ages. Yet in so many others it was as if we were complete strangers.
That first date went on to be a second date and then a third and a fourth. Within 9 months of meeting we had moved in together. I was slightly horrified at first sharing my space with a man!! But I was in love, so it was going to be ok and I’d get used to it.
So, if the happy me from 10 years ago knew what we would go through would I change it?
Not long after we met Leigh had an accident.
It wasn’t anything major and at the time we were told by the doctors that it was just a sprained ankle. Life carried on as normal, mostly.
That sprained ankle never fully recovered though. Leigh would have frequent pain, and his ankle would bruise and swell up if he spent too much time on his feet. Our weekends that had been spent hiking and exploring the local area started to change as it became too much for Leigh to handle. He kept on going back to the doctors, but they kept sending him away saying it was just a sprain.
9 months after the initial injury we finally got them to listen. Leigh went for an MRI scan which revealed all sorts of internal damage. Off he went for an operation only for them to fix part of the damage but cause a bigger issue all at the same time. Leigh was left with a condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS)
We continued to move forwards with our lives together, despite the problems that Leigh was having.
In late 2011 we discovered that we were pregnant, and we couldn’t have been happier. Although my pregnancy went without any issues, Leigh’s pain got worse and he was slowly able to do less and less. He was put on a cocktail of pain killers which would see him asleep on the sofa by early evening. Our quality time together was slipping away from us.
By the time we had our daughter in the summer of 2012, Leigh had undergone 2 more surgeries on his ankle. He had spent what amounted to months away at the Military rehabilitation centre in South London. Why a military centre? Leigh was in the R.A.F but his injury hadn’t been as a result of war.
It wasn’t long after our daughter was born that the R.A.F decided Leigh could no longer do his job because of the severity of his pain. By now he could only walk if he used crutches, so they put him on leave.
Leigh came to me then with a load of research he had been doing online. Information he had gotten from other patients that he had met when he was away undergoing various different treatments.
He wanted to talk to the doctors about having his lower leg amputated.
At this point we were running out of options and things weren’t going to improve by themselves. Being permanently stuck on crutches didn’t make for a good situation with a new born in the house and with not being active, Leigh had put weight on and become a shadow of himself.
So, we pursued the option of amputation. We spoke to the doctors, we did our research, and eventually we sat through a meeting with a board of medical professionals. Waiting for them to decide our future. The answer – they would amputate from just below Leighs right leg.
Callie, our daughter, was 15 months old when Leigh went in to have the surgery.
He came out a different person, in more than one way. He was still in pain but this time from the surgery and not the CRPS. Over night the depression seemed to lift and day by day I started to see the old Leigh emerge.
It’s 5 years since Leigh went through the initial amputation. Since then he has had 2 more operations and a number of setbacks along the way. He still has to go away now at times for rehab and treatment. The depression never fully lifted, and along with his anxiety and PTSD, it can sometimes get the better of him. Despite this, we are in a much better place now, than we would have been had we just left things alone.
So, if I knew then what I know now would I have done things differently?
Occasionally when I’m feeling really down and having a little pity party, I wonder about how things might have been different. Then I see my beautiful girl, or I hear her laugh, or she tells me that she loves me for no other reason than that she can, and I know in my heart that I wouldn’t change a single minute. Our family may not be how I imagined it would be, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
But why have I told you all of this?
I want you to know a little bit about me and what I have been through, I want you to be able to understand a little about why I am the person that I am today. Everything we went through led me to where I am today. If it weren’t for the hard times, I wouldn’t have turned to home workouts to find myself…to have “me” time…to regain a sense of control. Without that I never would have started up my home workout business.
You see having a partner who is in constant pain is hard. Having a partner but feeling like a single parent is hard. Being a mother of one but sometimes feeling like you have two children, is hard. I get it and understand that we all have different issues to work through.
I care deeply about those that I work with, I want to make a difference in what could be someone else’s hard times…
Whilst I can’t solve all of your problems, or take all of those issues away that may be holding you back. I can work with you to support and empower you through home workouts, helping you to rebuild your confidence and fall back in love with yourself. If this is something that resonates with you, you can find out more here.
I’ve been fortunate enough to tell my story in full alongside 24 other amazing ladies who have shared their inspiring journeys. You can find our book on Amazon, just look for Mumpreneur on Fire 3. I warn you now, you will need your tissues but you will come away inspired and with a new outlook on life!
Thank you for reading Laura xxx CEO of Laurabfitnesscoach, Number 1 Best Selling Author, Mum of 1, Devoted Partner and Empowerer of Women!